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NCAA March Madness Methodology – Battle of The Alumni

And this years winner is……. Burt Reynolds! Yes, seriously, Burt Reynolds wins. Ok well maybe not but the school he once attended is going to win. And that school is Florida State.

I’ve always gotten along well with Texans. You’ve got to.

Ok now to explain where I’m coming from. My methodology last year of using actual basketball stats to try and work some sort of system out. That didn’t go so well. I ended up with a whooping 55 points and a third place finish in our bloggers cup. Thats why this year, I’ve decided to throw basketball skill out the window and do something more interesting. My new methodology is to find famous alumni (or anyone who attended but maybe didn’t quite finish all of their degree) from each school and match them up head to head, who would I rather spend a day with. Its totally irrelevant to basketball but it will find me a sure winner. 

Instant Success

I started out by trying to find list of famous alumni from each school and trying to pick my favourite person from the long list of people I’d never heard of. I quickly realized that some of these school have produced no one famous. At one point I resorted to picking Lynda Lopez, sister of Jennifer Lopez, to represent Long Island. So after, much humming and hawing I decided to skip the first round and jump straight to the round of 32.

My initial planning was to instantly move the top 8 teams from each bracket forwards regardless of match ups due to the fact that  no seed lower then an 8 has ever won the tourney, but due to the fact that some schools produced no one famous, or that the famous person sucked, there were a few upsets. They are as followed:

South: #9 Conneticut over #8 Iowa state, or should I say Meg Ryan over Pete Carroll.

East: #9 Southern Miss over #8 Kansas State. (Brett Farve over Erin Brockovich). #12 Harvard over #5 Vanderbilt (Conan O’Brien over Al Gore. Yes I know much more famous people have gone to Harvard than Conan, but this is my bracket so let me be.)

Representing Harvard Students Everywhere

West: #12 Long Beach State over New Mexico (Steven Spielberg over Brian Urlacher). #11 Colorado State over Murray State (I couldn’t find anyone I knew form Murray State so Caleb Hanie won by default. I know, its a lose lose)

Midwest: #11 N.C. State over #6 San Diego State (Zack Galifianakas over John Madden)

So the seeds work out like this in the South. 1. John Wall 2. Richard Nixon 3. Willie Nelson 4.Mark Cuban 5.Joe Carter 6.Jimmey Kimmel 7.Steve Bartman 9.Meg Ryan.

East: 1. Al Davis 2.George Steinbrenner 3.Burt Reynolds 4.Sean William Scott 6. George Clooney 7.Bing Crosby 9. Brett Farve 12. Conan O’Brien

West: 1. Magic Johnson 2. Brad Pitt 3. Chris Farley 4. Johnny Unitas 7. Tim Tebow 8. Derrick Rose 11. Caleb Hanie 12. Steven Spielberg

Midwest: 1. Ken Jeong 2. Wilt Chamberlin 3. Bradley Cooper 4. James Earl Jones 5. Bill Cosby 7. Mahershalalhashbaz Ali (some guy from The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Just go with it) 8. Kyle Corver (this 8 v 9 match up was sparse) 11. Zack Galifianakis

Most people won’t agree with all my choices but thats ok, you’ll all see my logic when I win this years Bloggers Cup.

So the lots of the match ups were pretty straight forward. Theres no way the likes if Hanie, William Scott, or Korver were going any farther than the second round. Being a long time Blue Jays fan Joe Carter rolled through the South fairly easily. Spending a day with the infamous Steve Bartman would be pretty cool though. The Cinderella story of the year, Conan, made a big splash knocking of #1 Al Davis in the East, but his magical run ends fast when Burt Reynolds coolness outmatched Conan’s whiteness.

Magic Johnson was definitely the strongest #1 seed, but even he couldn’t stop the likes of the late great Chris Farley. Re-watching the Matt Foley SNL skit really helped this one go through. Farley wins the West.  I don’t know what type of person James Earl Jones is in real life, but if he’s as cool as his voice is, he sweeps through the Midwest.

James Earl Jones

That leaves Blue Jays legend Joe Carter vs Chris Farley in one semi, with Burt Reynolds taking on James Earl Jones in the other. As funny as Chris Farley was, he lived a pretty crazy life, I think i’d rather hear about playing in the World Series then about taking a crap load of cocaine. Carter goes on. Burt Reynolds is too proven of a bad ass to lose to someone with only a wicked voice to his name. The fact that Earl Jones was the voice of Darth Vader was clearly taken into account but it wasn’t enough to beat Coach Nate Scarborough. Burt Reynolds is in the finals.

The Finals were really a toss up between sports legend and movie legend, but Burt Reynolds ends up pulling the triple OT winner off with a late buzzer beater to take down Joe Carter.

So there is my crazy reasoning behind this years picks. Agree with them or not, I’m still winning this years Bloggers Cup.


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